Gone After
by Joyce Maetta
Summary: Spike needs some time to himself after Gone.


Author: Joyce Maetta

Disclaimer: Joss is the Genius.

Spoilers: Season 6 post "Gone".

(Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was this conversation between Spike and Buffy)

"This vanishing act is right liberating for you innit? Go everywhere you want , do anything you want or anyone."

"What are you talking about ..

"The only reason you're here is you're not here"

B "Of course as usual there's something wrong with Buffy. She came back all wrong but I didn't ask for this to happen to me."

S "Not too put off by it aren't you?"

B "No. Maybe for the first time, I'm free. Free of rules and reports. Free of this life"

S " Free of life? Got another name for that. Death. "

B". Why do you always have to ..I thought we were having fun."

S " Yeah. Now but sooner or later your chums are going to work out a way to get you back to living color."

"You need to go," is what Spike had told Buffy with great determination.

Kicking her out was one of the hardest things he could have done in his unlife. Buffy had instigated the sex games. And the games were of the type which would have mortified her friends if they had known.

Spike had overruled the demon in thinking of possible consequences.

The demon was all about the spur of the moment desires and carry through. Spike had firmly taken Buffy's shoulders and pushed her away. And much more gently too than she had slammed him into the wall making her presence known.

Buffy had said. "I told you not to see me." That phrase stuck in his throat even though his demon reveled in her heat. Yet she had come to him over and over.

 _Bitch make up your mind_!

Spike began to wonder if maybe, just maybe this, whatever this is, was possibly doing more harm than good to the Slayer. The chit's life was too overburdened with bills, roommates not paying anything, a bratty little sis, a demeaning job besides saving the folks of Sunnyhell on a nightly basis. Her plate was entirely too full with the likes of him as a sour cherry on top. His presence was just dimming her light.

He'd had plenty of time to think afterwards and came to a decision.

…

Buffy only allowed herself a small bit of distraction while putting toast in the toaster. It felt much better to be alive this morning after all. Willow had sat quietly last night as Buffy rid the house of magical items. Buffy felt good about her part in helping her friend.

But duty called.

"Dawn, get down here now! You don't need to be late.." She called again.

"Dawn, come on! You have to eat breakfast. Xander's going to be here any minute"

"Geez, you don't have to yell. I know my part in this circus ". Dawn had appeared before Buffy had finished her statement and had the refrigerator door open.

"We only have Cheerios this morning" Buffy said as she shook other empty boxes before tossing them. _Willow can be so self centered_ _sometimes_ came an errant thought. It would be so much nicer if she could help with cleaning up after herself. That would go a long ways towards easing some of the sliver of angry feelings burgeoning inside Buffy.

"Did you do your homework last night?" Buffy thought it would be better to lighten the mood this morning.

"What do you care? You didn't even talk to me last night", Dawn took a brief moment to retort.

"I'm sorry.."

"Yeah? You were doing your best to be dead again yesterday!" Dawn said putting her dish in the sink.

Xander interrupted them at the door. " You ready, Dawn?"

Dawn grabbed her back pack, gave one last glare to Buffy and said, " Yeah, let's go" as she ran out the door.

Xander smiled at Buffy and tugged his ear while shrugging his shoulders before exiting.

Buffy was still taken aback. _How did Mom do this all the time and work full time too_ …

She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table and drank slowly two handed with her elbows on the table. She closed her eyes and meditated on the current state of her life.

Willow looked as if she were an alcoholic who had stopped cold turkey. Earlier, she had come down to make her breakfast before returning to her room. And the dishes in the sink showed that. She had said that the initial plan for the day was to do internet searching regarding the missing diamond.

—

As if drawn to blood, Spike ended up on the outskirts of Los Angeles. There were lots of demons to fight plus a demon network was already in place. Good to keep his ear to the ground. Avoid surprises, yeah?

Spike pulled into the parking lot of a seedy motel called Paradise. Yeah, right. A bit too full of themselves they were in naming the place. At least the name stood out. Nothing else remarkable about the place other than the extent of neglect to the building. Spike looked around and took a sniff. Trace of demon in the air. Good. Something to look forward to. At the desk was a skeevy looking man reading a book. He looked up when he heard Spike walking up.

"Rate's $35 a night. No food provided."

Spike reached into his pocket and pulled out bills. "Here's three nights to start then. I want to be away from others. No one's to bother me. "

The skeeve took the money and gave Spike a key with a wary glance . " Uh, the back of the building faces that old warehouse. You'll get your quiet there."

Spike smirked and took the key. He still had the look to raise hackles in spite of his little infirmity.

—

Buffy got into the routine of working at the Doublemeat Palace. Boring as all get out but there was money coming in and all the free burgers she and Dawn could eat. It helped but she felt empty.

Willow was still going to school and still with the not contributing to the household. This put an invisible wall between them. Buffy did not know how to tell her best friend that more needed to be done. What could she say without Willow going to pieces? Even though they had been friends for years, Buffy realized that the years had morphed into adulthood. No more fun girl stuff. She could be that way with Dawn. Not Willow. Someone needed to get Willow to understand.

Buffy called Tara. The shy witch was surprised. " Hi Buffy. Is something wrong? Is Dawn OK?"

"Dawn's fine now. Her arm is healing nicely. I wanted to ask you about Willow. "

Buffy heard the gasp on the line.

"No, I can't go back now…"

"Tara, no. It's not about that. It's just.. I don't know how to really talk to Willow anymore. You do and I don't know what to say anymore. Willow and I just flit around each other without communicating. You know? I feel like something is building up inside me but I'm not able to say anything. "

"I know exactly what you mean, Buffy. That's the root of our problem. Willow didn't listen to me either".

"So you can't talk to her either? I was hoping you could. "

"Sorry. I could try but it would only open up the hurt more and I don't want to do that. I need more time. Surely there's someone you can talk to, can't you, Buffy? What about Xander? He and Willow have been friends for years. He might be able to help."

"Right. I could try that. Tara, I'm really sorry that you and Willow are at such a point. Just thought I'd put a feeler out. See you later. Bye, Tara."

Buffy slumped down into the chair. Xander was a possibility but somehow that felt like a lost cause. Xander still saw Willow as if she were still in high school despite the years. Anyhow, it would feel strange talking to Xander about Willow with Anya listening in always. There was some sort of squabble going on between Willow and Anya which was uncomfortable to be around. Buffy was sure Anya would jump into any conversation about Willow. So that was out.

Buffy got ready for patrol by changing her clothes and readying her weapons. A good slaying night would ease the current state of her misery. Dawn was spending the night with Janice. Buffy really needed this time tonight to let go of tension. She thought nothing of putting on her sexiest black leather pants, red shirt and black boots. The combination worked so well in attracting demons.

Fortunately, there was action in Shady Hill. Some strange demon was making quite a ruckus. It's build was that of a large gray bear with a tail and long teeth disproportionate to the size of its head. The good thing was that it was slow. A quick axe slice separated its head. _Next._ The vampires were quite spread out but Buffy dispatched four into the wind. Easy pickings they were too. She continued to stomp along seeking to bring demons into her path. She needed something. Taking a break, Buffy squatted by a tombstone listening attentively. Nothing. Sighing, she decided to enter Restfield. Buffy knew that Spike kept his home cemetery free of trouble for the most part so she strode quite confidently up to Spike's crypt and kicked in the door. She was up for a game of Kick the Spike whether he needed it or not. Damn it! She needed it. Especially what would come afterwards.

Spike was not in sight.

"Spike! Get your ass up here." Buffy's heart was pounding harder in anticipation.

"Spike! Get up here NOW!"

"Spike. Spike?" _Why isn't he answering me?_

Buffy looked around the room. The mess from her last visit was still apparent. _Lazybones_! Buffy chuckled at her pun. She opened the refrigerator door. There were still bottles of water there but it was surprisingly empty of blood. She lifted the trap door and noticed the lack of tingles.

 _Maybe he's gone to the butcher. I'll wait._ But patience and Buffy were really not mixy things. She lit a candle and climbed down into the lower portion of the crypt while being on the lookout for intruders. Spike kept the lower entrance unobtrusive but some demons were more clever than others and might discover it. Looking around Buffy noticed the bed was still rumpled from her last visit. _Does Spike_ _ever make his bed?_ Buffy did not know and really did not want to visit that thought further. _Ewww_.

She searched further even pulling the bedside drawers open. There were bundles of paper tied together with pretty ribbons. Those were probably from Drusilla, thought Buffy, so she dropped them back inside the drawers. _No way do I want to read what the sicko thinks._

There was a niggling thought trying to get through to Buffy's conscience that possibly Spike might not return tonight but maybe he had been gone for several days too. She pushed that thought down back into the River Nile box. _OK, maybe I won't wait then. His loss._

Buffy made her way home and went straight to bed failing to notice the whimpering sounds from Willow's room.

—

Spike quickly found a mixed human/demon bar conveniently not too close to his hide out at the motel. He wondered if the humans knew many of the clientele were demons. No matter. None of his soulless business. Such thoughts were for Angel. But still it would bother Buffy.

This place was done up all like a human nightclub. Nothing to bring any hunter attention to itself. The walls had red velvet and to Spike's glee no mirrors in the main room. Not even behind the bar. In place of a large mirror were old fashioned small advertising signs with the names of various liquors. Spike bellied up and ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Couples were dancing to slow music provided by a lone DJ. Very atmospheric, thought Spike. Just the place and milieu in which to drown one's troubles. Spike took the bottle to an unoccupied table, closed his eyes and proceeded to drink.

"That's a mighty big bottle for someone to drink all by his lonesome self", cooed a pretty brunette as she seated herself without invitation right by Spike.

Spike opened one eye and then the other. The bint was pretty in a 1940s way wearing a knee length tight curvy neon green dress. She was gazing at him hopefully with sloe eyes underneath bangs.

"Well now I'm not by my lonesome, am I? "

She smiled. Spike called the bartender for some glasses.

—

"This is nice, isn't it?" Willow said with a nervous glee. " The three of us having dinner together? Not so much with the lately." She had painstakingly taken time to do all the dinner preparations. _It would be so much quicker if I could just magic the end result into existence_. _But then Tara would_ _notice._ She sneaked a glance at Buffy and Dawn seeking approval.

Dawn had eaten the meal the fastest and grudgingly nodded at Willow. "That was pretty good, Willow. You're still on my list though so don't go thinking I've totally forgiven you."

Buffy ate much slower than her normal mode. "Got to agree with Dawn, Willow. Very nice. You really should do this more often", she said squaring her eyes on Willow. "I mean really so much better than Dawn or I can do this." She smiled hoping the point got through to Willow.

But instead Willow was doing her glowy bask thing instead of listening to individual words. She had gotten the approval she sought. Mentally she was thinking of getting into Tara's good graces.

—

The brunette's name was Mara. Spike had spent a couple of hours drinking and dancing in the bar before he escorted her to a cab. Spending time with someone who listened did wonders for Spike's ego. She had given Spike her telephone number which he'd pocketed. Maybe he'd call her or maybe he wouldn't. It was always good to keep options open. Then he'd walked her out to a cab.

"I've had a good time tonight," said Mara. "You sure you won't come home with me?"

"No, pet. You go on home and have a good rest of the night." Spike waved her good night and made to return to the bar but left after the cab was out of sight. The rest of the night he spent walking off the alcohol and hoping for a bit of a scuffle. There were some local vampires harassing a group of Brachen demons. Nothing earth shattering. This area of Los Angeles was certainly quieter than Sunnydale. No Hellmouth with which to contend. The center of town where Angel was located was where the trouble was and Spike had vowed to stay away. Any closer and Angel would feel his presence.

It occurred to Spike that the last time he had seen Angel was during the Gem of Amara fiasco and Spike did not imagine that Angel would get over that torture incident quickly. _If only he knew the changes I've undergone_. One of the good developments in his unlife was getting further and further away from the ingrained influences of Angelus. Spike was such an unusual demon that Angelus had spent over 20 years beating "proper" demonic ways into him. And Spike had given in in the hopes of getting into the graces of Drusilla.

But Drusilla had never really wanted Spike. That was now glaringly clear in retrospect. She had always wanted Angelus. Spike was just a poor substitute. It had taken years for Spike to realize that and also that Drusilla always knew in her way that Spike was intended for "the sunshine". Her riddles made no sense until that dream. More love's bitch. But being in love with The Slayer made things so hard. He knew it was wrong. _Buffy knows it. She won't even believe that vampires can love…that is all except her precious Angel. If only she knew that Angel and Angelus were the same with or without the soul. That freaking soul is the only thing that matters to Buffy. I'm just a tool to her._ _Why do I keep falling for women that don't want me? Buffy will never love me but I'm drawn to her like a moth to a flame. One of these days I might get burned_.

Spike's demon cut off the maudlin whining of William real quick. He wanted to have fun and Buffy was quite a handful of fun that he was not going to give up despite William being so far in the fore.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe this little respite is what William really needed. Get his feelings out before going back home for more fun. Spike's demon could only take so much before he roared.

So returning home was a given. The Slayer was in a bad way and it would not do to leave her there drifting along. _I'm the one who doesn't leave._

—

All of the Scoobies save Tara were at the Magic Shop. The tenseness between Buffy and Willow had eased some and they were more comfortable being in the presence of each other. Willow is working on a paper for a history class. Xander and Anya are still working out wedding plans. Dawn is doing her homework. Buffy feels like she does not mesh with her surroundings. Bored, she picked up the Sunnydale Press and read the headline.

FURNITURE STORE SLIMED BY UNKNOWN GANG

Reading further, the article indicated that this type of activity was not a one time deal. People had come home to find their wooden furniture slimed also. This certainly appeared to be something up the Slayer's alley to Buffy. She read the article aloud to the others.

"Eww, Slimer up to his usual antics, eh, Buff?" Xander chuckled. "Too bad the Ghostbusters are fictional when you need them. "

"Oh, hey, research time!" said Willow.

"Most of the demons I've run across with slime don't usually go into human habitats. What type of creature acts like this?" asked Buffy. "While you guys are researching, I'll head over to Willie's for information."

"Smack him a good one, Buff!" said Xander.

It was a slow night at Willie's. As Buffy entered, at least two demons were quietly exiting the other door.

Willie saw Buffy and nervously cleaned a glass. " What can I do ya for, Slayer?"

Buffy sat down, spun around to look at the remaining patrons and spun back towards Willie leaning closer.

"I don't know anything, Slayer," Willie offered nervously.

"Did I ask you anything, Willie?"

Willy gulped. "No but you usually do."

Buffy grabbed his shirt and pulled him in. Willy squinted his eyes and looked down..anywhere except the Slayer's eyes and whimpered. "Really. I don't know anything new."

"Slime demons who enter stores and houses. Human houses. Ring a bell, Willie?" Buffy clenched her right fist and started to raise her arm.

"Uh…"

Smack! Willie put his hand to the bleeding nose and semi squatted down behind the bar.

"No, don't hit me again!" Quieter, "Embrins."

"What?"

Wille nearly whispering "Please, Slayer, keep your voice down." Louder. "I don't know anything!"

He coughed "Embrins" looking around. Most of the demons mistook it as a human cough. Willie started wiping the bar.

Buffy glared one last good one at him before getting up and leaving.

Entering the Magic Box, Buffy saw that the Scoobies were still occupied.

"Embrins is what I got."

"Oh, I know those, " piped up Anya. "Not too many of those around. They travel in groups, you know."

Willow found the reference in the book she was reading. "Small, dwarfish, scaly beings who suck varnish from wood leaving a slime behind" She continued reading quietly before halting. " Uh, the slime is attractive to young mammals upon which they feed. Once touched, the slime has a particular smell that alerts the Embrins to come and get it. That could be Bambi…"

"But more likely human children considering where the slime occurred" concluded Buffy. "I need to take care of this. Anya, you said groups. How big of a group?"

"Enough to take out adult human caretakers in family units", answered Anya.

Buffy sighed. "I really don't want to ruin any more clothes. Where's Spike when you need him?"

Dawn spoke up. "Spike is in town."

Aghast, Buffy said. "What? When? Where?"

"So you did notice!"

Buffy glancing around nervously at the gang. " I so did not! It's just that the last time I checked his crypt, he wasn't there." _Which was last night but they don't need to know that._ "That doesn't make me stalker Buffy." Anya gave Buffy a knowing smile. Buffy inwardly cringed. _Anya sees too much_.

Willow looked up and said, "You're not a stalker, Buffy, other than to things that need stalking."

Xander really hadn't paid attention until the word stalker. " The only stalker around here is the bleached wonder who thankfully hasn't been in the shop lately. " He went back to reading his girly mag inside the bridal mag oblivious as usual to anything else going on.

Dawn gave Buffy a calculating smile. Buffy grabbed her and led her outside.

"What do you know? How did you know Spike was gone?""

"He called, silly!"

"He called you?"

"No, he called us but you were too busy so I talked to him. Didn't you even notice that Spike had left town?"

"Left town? Did he say that? I only saw he wasn't in his crypt. "

"Yeah, he wanted to tell you but you wouldn't listen to anything from me last week."

"Oh. Didn't you think I needed to know?"

"Why? He said he was coming back soon. It's not been that long."

 _That's because you knew he'd left town and here I was with the not knowing! He could have dusted for all I knew!_ Calming herself, Buffy nodded her head and spoke slowly. "So he called this morning and you didn't tell me?"

"Yeah, well, I was getting ready for school and didn't think to tell you." Dawn backed up, "You were busy too!"

Buffy was taken aback so she pulled in Dawn and hugged her. "I'm really glad you let me know now. You know I love you, don't you Dawn?"

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I just can't tell if you're mad or not."

Buffy ran her hands through Dawn's hair ruffling it and smiled. They went back inside. Buffy said "I'm going to get Spike. We're gonna put a stop to this business."

"Buff, we can help you.." Xander started.

"No, I don't want to expose you guys to this particular danger. What if Anya is pregnant? Spike and I can do this. Would you guys do me a favor and walk Dawn home after you finish up here?"

"Sure, no problem as long as she stays right here at the table and keeps her sticky fingers to herself" inserted Anya.

Dawn cringed but sat down and returned to working on her homework.

A chorus of "byes" and "be safe's" followed Buffy as she left.

There was a loud crashing on the upper level of the crypt.

Spike bolted up and reached for his sword. _Can't a bloke get a quiet sleep in this cemetery?!_

The air was redolent of Slayer musk. Spike relaxed, set the sword down and dressed. Now he could hear Slayer stomping. He peeked out of the hatch.

" 'Lo, luv."

"Spike, you're back!" Buffy rushed to Spike as he came off the ladder, put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Missed me, pet?"

Buffy untangled herself and moved back. "Er, you were gone?"

Spike raised his eyes to the ceiling, tilted his head and smiled.

Buffy looked down uncharacteristically twisted her arms and said lowly, "Yes, I missed you."

Spike held out his arms and Buffy flew back into them. "Please don't ever do that to me again."

"Do what, Slayer?"

"You know! You left me and didn't tell me!"

"I left you? All I did was take a little trip out of town. How is that leaving you?"

Frustrated, Buffy punched him in the nose. _You know what I mean_!

Spike smiled through the blood. "Cat got your tongue, Slayer?"

Buffy front kicked him into the wall. Spike brushed himself off, grabbed his duster, and started walking to the door.

Buffy ran in front of him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Really not up for a game of Kick the Spike, Slayer. Just want some peace and quiet for a bit.'

"Peace and quiet? You're a vampire, Spike! Vampires like violence."

"Slayer, I just got back and really not up for it tonight."

Buffy pouted.

"Please don't do that, pet. You know I can't resist it."

Buffy smiled and deepened the pout.

Spike relented. "Really. I need a bit more relaxation."

Buffy smiled coyly taking Spike's hand. "We can relax together downstairs. I need you at peak condition for a job. We need to be at peak condition together. I'll tell you about it downstairs."

"You need me, Buffy?"

Buffy was thrilled that Spike used her name. "Yes, I need you Spike."

They landed with a soft thud on the ground.

THE END


End file.
